October 2008


So I watched Zach and Miri tonight around 12:30 am.  I was Pleasantly surprised with the movie.  I knew it would be written well because Kevin Smith was involved but I actually laughed out loud.  With lines like “If you gave me 2 popsicle sticks and a rubber band Id figure a way to fuck it like a dirty Mcguyver.” There was even a scat occurrence.  The only real problem I had with this film was the whole relationship angle.  I get that they needed it in the movie, but Im tired of going to movies and feeling sad about life.  It was so funny and then all the sudden your brought back to real life where you have to think about real things.  I guess its fine for people that are happy, but I suck and it depressed me so F that. 

This may be the only movie other than 40 year old virgin where I don’t want to beat the fuck out of Seth Rogan, he was almost endearing in this movie.  Kevin Smith is bouncing back into my life, Good Stuff.

All things considered Id still give this 5 out of 10 chicken sandwiches.  Watch it, you’ll laugh, unless your a real asshole.

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So Ive been hearing rumors.. more like lowly mumbling about the slim slim chance of a Dark Knight Returns movie.  This isnt a sequal to The Dark Knight mind you, its a Frank Miller Graphic Novel, Frank Miller brought us such movies as Robcops 2 and 3, Sin City, 300, and coming soon The Spirit.  He has written tons of graphic novels and comics as well.  This story is based on a Batman 10 years after the original Robin is killed.  He pissed and sick and tired of whats happening in Gotham.  Now he is colder and not putting up with any shit.  He isnt as fit as he was but hes stil a tough son of a bitch.

Now being that this is set 10 years after the current Batman movies out right now, I dont know why it would be a problem to make this movie.  When Frank Miller was asked who he thought would make a good batman for this film, he immediately said Sylvestor Stallone.  Yes Rambo as a haggard old pissed off Batman.  Its just perfect, but then I started thinking “wow stallone is old as shit” well who else could play him? Bruce Willis, Yes yes yes why not?  He would be perfect, a mix between his character in Unbreakable and Sin City, it would be amazing. 

My luck they will wait 10 years to make this movie, Christian Bale will be dead or sick of playing Batman after they end up doing a justice league movie so who else will be left?  It will be the Damned Rock, Dwayne Johnson, or Vin Diesel.  Ha that would be a nightmare.

 

Nope NOT A JOKE!  Ive been hearing rumors about this for a year or so now.  Its set to come out in 2010.  Directed by Colin Brady a virtual unknown he directed Everyones Hero in 2006 an animated piece of shit.  Its rumored to have John Lithgow, and Julia Sweeney in it as well. So on Ebay they are auctioning off a walk on roll for this film.  I would have thought it would have been complete CGI so a voice part?  Nope it says walk on NON SPEAKING roll, that leads me to believe that we are looking at a Live Action SMURFS MOVIE!  Ha hahahaha amazing, I saw a smurf porno once, I vomited twice.  I dont know how they can even do this, 95% of new movies out have to have a love story in them anymore to pull in the female viewers so I guess everyone is gonna have to bang smurfette in this one or create a few chicks to round out Smurf Village.

Ill watch this movie with no hope of anything in my mind.  Thoughts, Comments?  IVE included a few pics of what the movie may look like.  Enjoy…

 

So Twilight is coming out Nov. 21 Harry Potter got bumped to July because Paramount had nothing coming out this summer, so Twilight jumped in and took the space.  From looking at the trailer, the cinemetography looks tight, the story?  eh Im not so sure.  I guess Im not a 17 year old Hormonal girl(although some may disagree) but it looks like a Teen love story with a vampire in it.  I hear from one person the books are amazing, everyone else says they are a 5 hour read and a waste of time.  Any thoughts about this?  Id like to know what people are thinking about it.

Ive added the trailer so you can check it out

 

UPDATE 10/30/08::

At the Movie Theatre I work at we are actually already selling tickets for this piece of shit.  I have a feeling it will be as busy as Sex and the City.  The first two days of Sex and the City hundreds of middle aged lonely women came to see this movie and then it dropped off and died hard.  Twilight will have teeny boppers with no life experiences who live through this book and movie, and middle aged women of the same caliber show up for the first two days and then it will die hard.  I took the poster down yesterday and plan on setting it on fire, maybe Ill film it and put it on here.   Fuck You Edward Cullen! Fuck you indeed.

 

UPDATE 11/25/2008

Please Kill Me Now.. I watched this movie the Wed before it came out.. I loved it!  Yes I really did like it.  I mean it was garbage but it was funny and kind of an emotional whirlwind.  Im a bit of a sentimental baby when it comes to love stories and movies so I wasnt really expecting this at all.  I thought it would be a crappy teen vampire movie which it was, but I actually started to care about the characters.  Bella..wow so sexy!

 So Chocolat Eh?  Yes Yes Indeed! IT may be the gayest sounding movie, and may be the gayest movie ever, but I cant stop loving it.  Juliet Binoche as a sexy traveling half Gypsy, Johnny Depp as a Pirate (well no big shocker but he doest suck as this one), its just amazing. 

Juliette Binoche opens a Patisserie during lent in a very small Catholic town and has to deal with the craziness of the towns Mayor.  Its def worth checking out, there is even an imaginary Kangaroo named Pontoof.  How could you pass that up?  Once again, I own this on DVD ask me if you want to borrow it.  I love it.

10 out of 10 Chicken Sandwiches, If this movie was a beautiful girl, Id pay her bills for the rest of her life and support her every whim.  WOW its seriously that good.  The score in it even gives me chills.

 

 

 

 

 

So Hook is probably one of my favorite movies.  At least top 20.  Ive seen hundreds and hundreds of movies, someday Ill make a list, but I don’t want to sound like a complete loser. 

Hook starring Robin Williams, as a grown up Peter Pan, Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook, Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell, and who can forget Dante Basco as Rufio.

This was released summer of 1991, I can remember at Christmas time in 1990 seeing the preview for this at the movie theatre and thinking how much I wanted to see it.  It was a teaser with the lost boys flying behind the poster and all you could see were the silhouettes.  Wow this really brings me back.  This is one of those movies that I can watch 20 times and not get sick of, I’m sure Ive done it too. 

Some interesting facts about this, George Lucas and Carrie Fischer had small cameos in this during the pirate town scene.  For any of you who watch Entourage on HBO the kid that played Rufio is Fukkijama the shoe designer in an episode.  This movie pretty much ruined the career of everyone in it except for Williams, Hoffman, and Roberts.  I couldn’t even find a recent pick of the fat kid who rolled down stairs to attack people.  The amazing thing is I found a recent pick of the little girl from the movie, she is 4 years younger than I am and now she is insanely gorgeous.  WOW.

Check this movie out, I own it in VHS and DVD if you want to check it out.

Ohh 9 out of 10 Chicken Sandwiches

First off youve got Viggo Mortenson, wow its freaking Aragorn.  Youve got Jeremy Irons, and Ed Harris, what could go wrong?

Well I guess poor writing and weird filming could really do it.  So I was so psyched to finally see a western film made by someone that really loved western films (Ed Harris.)  Honestly I think it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

It was an ok movie dont get me wrong, it had action, love, adventure, shooting, killing, swearing, nudity even.  But it just didnt have that epic feeling about it.  There was one really cool scene where Viggo is just sitting in a hotel and the way they filmed it, it was breathtaking, otherwise it was a stinker.  I was going to drive to Pittsburgh to see it, thank God I didnt.

Watch it but dont expect much.

5 out of 10 Chicken Sandwiches.

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