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I happened to run into a sneak preview of this movie, it doesnt release in Theatres until April 24th.  Im assuming after watching this movie that it may never release and may go straight to DVD.  Starring Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, Devon Aoki, and John Malkovich for 10 minutes.

This was probably the biggest piece of shit Ive seen in a few years.  Tom Jane, used to be one of my not so hated actors, but now he is on the list.  I liked him in DreamCatcher, and the first Punisher(yes I liked it.) But this movie really just sucked hard!

A Post Apoctalyptic War between the continents which are all controlled by corporations is blown and all of the sudden they accidentally open a vault to a machine where the apocolypse started. The machine turns people into Mutants…

So Tom Jane, a Fat Mexican, Hell Boy, a Mute Priestess, a Nazi, an 2 Asians,  and a Black British guy all decide to save the day and go into the pit to blow up the machine with a magic book and a locket or some garbage. 

It was seriously just so horrible I dont know why Im even writing about it, maybe just to warn people not to waste their time.  I saw the preview and thought it looked decent but was sorely mistaken.  The filming was even horrible, it was too dark the entire movie and hard to make things out even in HD on a huge screen. 

 

Stay away, and if  you see Thomas Jane in the streets..Tell Him To STOP MAKING MOVIES..Maybe Try Broadway.

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HOLY SHIT! YES THE NEW Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, the third remake in the string of 70’s and 80’s huge horror movie remakes has just signed Jackie Earle Hayley to play Freddy Krueger.

Hayley best known for his portrayal of Bad News Bear Kelly Leak in the original 76 Bad News Bears is what I would say is the perfect call on this.  When I heard they were redoing Nightmare it was hard for me to imagine anyone other than Robert Englund playing Freddy,but I think this may be acceptable.   It didnt matter for Friday the 13th, or Halloween because the characters are masked and pretty much walk around like assholes and kill stuff, but Freddy is all attitude and character.

Hayley I really think can pull this off, after seeing Little Children(fantastic movie), and his role in Watchmen(the only one that didnt suck balls) Im really geeked about this.

 

Ill keep this up to date and try to get as much info as I can.

HOLY SHIT, I JUST MESSED MY PANTS IN A GOOD WAY! MAN.. So I just happened upon the trailer for this and had no idea the trailer was even out yet. It looks amazing!!! IM posting the trailer on here please check it out.

 asdf

Stephen Sommers is directing, hes the orginal director of the Mummy.

The story is set at Brussels-based GIJOE, an acronym for the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, and revolves around an international co-ed force of operatives who use high-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil org headed by a Scottish arms dealer. –Real Movie News 11/20/07

Apparently they changed this because that woudl be bullshit..so

GiJoe is once again “A real american hero”, not an international UN type organization according to Hasbro-

Pros For Joe:

 

FIRST OFF CHECK OUT SCARLETT..OHH MY!

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Dennis Quaid..Innerspace! thats all I need to say

Chatum Tanning..A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, lets only focus on that movie and he is now acceptable.

 Christopher Eccleston..Doctor Who ! So Good

 Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje..Sienna Miller..Good Stuff

 

Cons:  Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander, Im not sure what I think about this but all I can imagine is him being the shitty character from Third Rock From The Sun with a Cobra Commander Voice.. Who Knows?

Marlon Wayons is Ripcord?  WTF?  Beachhead isnt even in the movie, no Seargent Slaughter? Shit! 

Otherwise Im pretty psyched about this movie.  I hated Transformers and 2 looks just as shitty so hopefully this will re-invigorate my hard on for 80’s cartoons.

 

 

WELL I CANT GET THE VIDEO TO LOAD SO HERE IS A LINK TO IT:

http://www.zipperfish.com/movie-trailers/gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra/

Im updating the Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland Blog, Along with Recanting my statements about Twilight.  Check it out, it will be up along with some new movie info. 

 

Z

 

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Let me start off by saying I pretty much hate Clint Eastwood as a director.  Other than Mystic River and Unforgiven, I could give a shit about what he has directed.  Million Dollar Baby to me was probably the biggest pile of dong Ive ever seen, I was so happy when that bitch finally died. 

The last movie with Clint in it that I didnt want to piss on was Blood Work and that wasnt really that great.  But the other day Im sitting watching “Pride and Glory” amazing movie by the way, and I see this trailer for Gran Torino.  Well holy shit I wanted to watch it over and over again.  This movie looks F Ing Amazing! 

Clint is a disgruntled Korean War vet (real life he didnt make it to war his plane crashed and he ended up being a swimming instructor in the military) that is pretty much a racist asshole old man.  He ends up saving the Korean neighbors kid and starts a war with a local gang.  He wants to clean up the town before he dies and hes gonna do it.  Fucking yes!! Its about time we have a good action movie without a bunch of bullshit special effects and other garbage.  It looks amazing and if I get new info about it Ill put it on here, but I just wanted people to check out this trailer to see what they thought.

 

 So Chocolat Eh?  Yes Yes Indeed! IT may be the gayest sounding movie, and may be the gayest movie ever, but I cant stop loving it.  Juliet Binoche as a sexy traveling half Gypsy, Johnny Depp as a Pirate (well no big shocker but he doest suck as this one), its just amazing. 

Juliette Binoche opens a Patisserie during lent in a very small Catholic town and has to deal with the craziness of the towns Mayor.  Its def worth checking out, there is even an imaginary Kangaroo named Pontoof.  How could you pass that up?  Once again, I own this on DVD ask me if you want to borrow it.  I love it.

10 out of 10 Chicken Sandwiches, If this movie was a beautiful girl, Id pay her bills for the rest of her life and support her every whim.  WOW its seriously that good.  The score in it even gives me chills.

 

 

 

 

 

So Hook is probably one of my favorite movies.  At least top 20.  Ive seen hundreds and hundreds of movies, someday Ill make a list, but I don’t want to sound like a complete loser. 

Hook starring Robin Williams, as a grown up Peter Pan, Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook, Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell, and who can forget Dante Basco as Rufio.

This was released summer of 1991, I can remember at Christmas time in 1990 seeing the preview for this at the movie theatre and thinking how much I wanted to see it.  It was a teaser with the lost boys flying behind the poster and all you could see were the silhouettes.  Wow this really brings me back.  This is one of those movies that I can watch 20 times and not get sick of, I’m sure Ive done it too. 

Some interesting facts about this, George Lucas and Carrie Fischer had small cameos in this during the pirate town scene.  For any of you who watch Entourage on HBO the kid that played Rufio is Fukkijama the shoe designer in an episode.  This movie pretty much ruined the career of everyone in it except for Williams, Hoffman, and Roberts.  I couldn’t even find a recent pick of the fat kid who rolled down stairs to attack people.  The amazing thing is I found a recent pick of the little girl from the movie, she is 4 years younger than I am and now she is insanely gorgeous.  WOW.

Check this movie out, I own it in VHS and DVD if you want to check it out.

Ohh 9 out of 10 Chicken Sandwiches