UPCOMING MOVIES


 

x-men-origins-wolverine1

I just watched the leaked version of Wolverine.  I know all of the reviews out there are negative but I really didnt hate it at all.  The first hour was garbage but the second half was acceptable.  I dont think you can really get the full effect of a movie like this without all of the special effects and CGI being completely done.  Im sure some of the edits are not in there either. 

If I was to base my review solely on what I saw today in the rough cut of the movie, I would  honestly suggest seeing it.  It was fun, and kept moving.  The thing about my review is that you have to realize that I completely hated the last X-men movie, I thought it was complete shit.  So for me this movie was a big step up. 

Ryan Reynolds was garbage as usual, I think he is an asshole and he plays the same role in every movie Ive seen him in.  Liev Schreiber was actually fantastic as Sabretooth, I was completely caught off guard by his role. I expected him to be horrible.  Taylor Kitsch is one of my favorite up and coming actors, if any of you watch Friday Night Lights the series on NBC, you will know how awesome this kid is.  The problem is they really screwed his part over, didnt give him enough screen time and he somehow has the disease that Storm(Halle Barry) does in the first 3 movies, his accent comes and goes throughout each scene.

Check it out, it would prob be visually stimulating in the theatres.  Dont expect much and you will be happy.

Advertisements

mutant-chronicles-new-poster

 

I happened to run into a sneak preview of this movie, it doesnt release in Theatres until April 24th.  Im assuming after watching this movie that it may never release and may go straight to DVD.  Starring Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, Devon Aoki, and John Malkovich for 10 minutes.

This was probably the biggest piece of shit Ive seen in a few years.  Tom Jane, used to be one of my not so hated actors, but now he is on the list.  I liked him in DreamCatcher, and the first Punisher(yes I liked it.) But this movie really just sucked hard!

A Post Apoctalyptic War between the continents which are all controlled by corporations is blown and all of the sudden they accidentally open a vault to a machine where the apocolypse started. The machine turns people into Mutants…

So Tom Jane, a Fat Mexican, Hell Boy, a Mute Priestess, a Nazi, an 2 Asians,  and a Black British guy all decide to save the day and go into the pit to blow up the machine with a magic book and a locket or some garbage. 

It was seriously just so horrible I dont know why Im even writing about it, maybe just to warn people not to waste their time.  I saw the preview and thought it looked decent but was sorely mistaken.  The filming was even horrible, it was too dark the entire movie and hard to make things out even in HD on a huge screen. 

 

Stay away, and if  you see Thomas Jane in the streets..Tell Him To STOP MAKING MOVIES..Maybe Try Broadway.

nightmare-on-elm-street-freddy-headshot-small

jackie_earle_haley_blue_glasses

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HOLY SHIT! YES THE NEW Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, the third remake in the string of 70’s and 80’s huge horror movie remakes has just signed Jackie Earle Hayley to play Freddy Krueger.

Hayley best known for his portrayal of Bad News Bear Kelly Leak in the original 76 Bad News Bears is what I would say is the perfect call on this.  When I heard they were redoing Nightmare it was hard for me to imagine anyone other than Robert Englund playing Freddy,but I think this may be acceptable.   It didnt matter for Friday the 13th, or Halloween because the characters are masked and pretty much walk around like assholes and kill stuff, but Freddy is all attitude and character.

Hayley I really think can pull this off, after seeing Little Children(fantastic movie), and his role in Watchmen(the only one that didnt suck balls) Im really geeked about this.

 

Ill keep this up to date and try to get as much info as I can.

HOLY SHIT, I JUST MESSED MY PANTS IN A GOOD WAY! MAN.. So I just happened upon the trailer for this and had no idea the trailer was even out yet. It looks amazing!!! IM posting the trailer on here please check it out.

 asdf

Stephen Sommers is directing, hes the orginal director of the Mummy.

The story is set at Brussels-based GIJOE, an acronym for the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, and revolves around an international co-ed force of operatives who use high-tech equipment to battle Cobra, an evil org headed by a Scottish arms dealer. –Real Movie News 11/20/07

Apparently they changed this because that woudl be bullshit..so

GiJoe is once again “A real american hero”, not an international UN type organization according to Hasbro-

Pros For Joe:

 

FIRST OFF CHECK OUT SCARLETT..OHH MY!

scarlett-gi-joe

Dennis Quaid..Innerspace! thats all I need to say

Chatum Tanning..A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, lets only focus on that movie and he is now acceptable.

 Christopher Eccleston..Doctor Who ! So Good

 Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje..Sienna Miller..Good Stuff

 

Cons:  Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander, Im not sure what I think about this but all I can imagine is him being the shitty character from Third Rock From The Sun with a Cobra Commander Voice.. Who Knows?

Marlon Wayons is Ripcord?  WTF?  Beachhead isnt even in the movie, no Seargent Slaughter? Shit! 

Otherwise Im pretty psyched about this movie.  I hated Transformers and 2 looks just as shitty so hopefully this will re-invigorate my hard on for 80’s cartoons.

 

 

WELL I CANT GET THE VIDEO TO LOAD SO HERE IS A LINK TO IT:

http://www.zipperfish.com/movie-trailers/gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra/

photo_02_hiresSo this is the movie based on the book by Cormac McCarthy, same guy who wrote the book that “No Country for Old Men” was based on.  I read the book, and I love post apocalyptic movies, but this one blew balls.  However I think the movie may be one of those rare cases where the book is outdone by the film.

How can you go wrong with Viggo Mortenson?  I havnt seen many movies that I didnt enjoy with Viggo.  Charlize Theron is in this as well and unless they really up her part, she should be in it for about 3 minutes plus a flashback or two.  Otherwise no one famous is in this movie.  The kid Kodi Smit-McPhee has been in a few shit movies but nothing that really matters. 

Pretty much here is the run down..A father and his son walk alone through a wasted falling apart united states. Nothing is alive except a few people and the wind that blows through the landscape. It is cold, when the snow falls it is gray. They are trying to make it to the coastline where they think there will be good people, the only people they have run into so far are cannibalistic baby eaters.  They have nothing: just a pistol, their memories, and a shitty shopping cart with a broken wheel. 

A bunch of crazy stuff happens to them on the way to the shore, but its going to be a hit or miss.  It will either be amazing, or end up like Cast Away.  Looking amazing, and ending up being a pile of garbage promoting fedex.  Well hopefully Viggo will pull it off.

Remake of The Karate Kid with Jaden Smith(Will Smiths Son) What the fuck?

Twilight, Fuck You Suck My Dick! Your no Vampire douchebad your fucking Cedric Digory

Beyonce as Wonderwoman?  Garbage

Ugly Chick from Transformers as Wonderwoman, Garbage as Well.

Sam Jackson as Nick Fury, Will Smith as Captain America, Beyonce as Wonderwoman, Big Fat Black Guy from Green Mile as The Kingpin.  Thats like Ricky Schroeder playing Martin Luther King, Fuck You!

Dragon Ball Z Movie

Thundercats Movie Not Live Action

Voltron movie will probably be shit, more like a shitty rip off of fucking Power Rangers

Who Gives a Shit, the world is ending..

 

SO UPDATE::MARCH 30th 09.  THEY ARE MAKING THE KARATE KID MOVIE into more of a sham.  Its now called The KUNG FU KID.  And get this shit..Jackie Chan is the new Mr. Miyagi..nuff said..its garbage.

 

eastwoods_gran_torino_character_descriptions_relea_414x2701

Let me start off by saying I pretty much hate Clint Eastwood as a director.  Other than Mystic River and Unforgiven, I could give a shit about what he has directed.  Million Dollar Baby to me was probably the biggest pile of dong Ive ever seen, I was so happy when that bitch finally died. 

The last movie with Clint in it that I didnt want to piss on was Blood Work and that wasnt really that great.  But the other day Im sitting watching “Pride and Glory” amazing movie by the way, and I see this trailer for Gran Torino.  Well holy shit I wanted to watch it over and over again.  This movie looks F Ing Amazing! 

Clint is a disgruntled Korean War vet (real life he didnt make it to war his plane crashed and he ended up being a swimming instructor in the military) that is pretty much a racist asshole old man.  He ends up saving the Korean neighbors kid and starts a war with a local gang.  He wants to clean up the town before he dies and hes gonna do it.  Fucking yes!! Its about time we have a good action movie without a bunch of bullshit special effects and other garbage.  It looks amazing and if I get new info about it Ill put it on here, but I just wanted people to check out this trailer to see what they thought.

 

Next Page »